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Stepford Recovery College

Turning Binners into Winners since 2015

Introduction

Welcome, and congratulations on taking this brave first step towards your recovery.
Your Future Starts Here! We’ve made a college just for Mentals: prepare to be patronised! You can pretend you are going to college just like the Normals!

…  Choose acceptance. Choose compliance. Choose someone else’s perfect life. Choose to recover. Choose it NOW.

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Courses

Special Introductory Course in Form Filling  

Before we even get to any mindful shenanigans you will learn the art of the outcome measure so that we can demonstrate outcomes and get paid in full. You get bugger all. Though maybe it’s mindful form filling.

…Mindfulness

Bored of your regular toolkit of hammer and screwdriver? WE CAN EQUIP YOU WITH AN EMOTIONAL TOOLKIT to keep in your mindfulness toolbox. Mindfulness is proven to help you silently, repeatedly, re-experience all that long-repressed trauma. (Bring your own raisins.)

… Recovery Porn

Join us for our inspirational class ‘Writing Your Recovery Narrative’ and see your life story used fee-free in our promotional literature to help us obtain more NHS contracts. When you recover you can come back and tell your story, thus joining the recovery porn industry.

“Recovery has always only ever been an empty word that refers to whatever agenda or ideology anyone chooses.” Robert Dellar

This is covered by a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International (CC BY-NC-ND 4.0) License